Everday miracles.

Today I am sitting at another's house, watching two motherless children who are home sick from school. I realized, as I was doing the laundry, cleaning the very yucky kitchen and making the girls breakfast... that my heart comes alive when I care for children.

This isn't a great revelation or anything, I've known it for years. But it's been awhile since I've had a chance to work with any kids so it struck me again today.

The second thing that I realized is how much I long to write when life is beautiful. I was hurrying from doing the laundry to take the chicken out to defrost when I was caught up with a sudden desire to write. Unfortunately, I forgot my laptop at home. But the stories go swirling through my mind like crazy. My fingers itch to type them...
So, to keep me busy, I decided to write this entry instead.

These little facts may not seem like much to you who read this... but to me, they are miracles. It has been so long since I've been happy. Don't get me wrong, I've found joy in the midst of a lot of pain. But it's been a long while since I could sit and think about all the painful things I am dealing with right now and still feel this fluttering happiness.
Happiness is not necessary for contentment. Joy is. So, my life has not been lacking. It is simply that the deep things within me... like watching children and writing books... have been pushed away and ignored while I have focused on surviving and praising my Savior in the midst of frustrating circumstances.

And our God, is a god who brings peace into frustration. I've learned to surrender. Why do I wait so long? Why do I fight my Savior? My life is so full of sin at times that I am shocked at God's patience and love. But he continues being patient. He continues loving. He speaks light into my darkness and bring life to my death.

What a faithful God, have I!